you know how everyone looks back at their high-school/teenage years and says “i sure wouldn’t want to do that again”? 

not me.  looking back, i really think seventeen was my favorite year.  other than the almost dying part, of course.  i was reckless and self-destructive but i was free.  my future was literally opening up before me and the paths i could take were infinite and of my own choosing.  i was responsible for myself and nothing else.  i was strong and confident and went after whatever i wanted.  i wielded power and had fun doing it.  sure, there was heartache but it never lasted long because possibility was around every corner.  

and really, the drama… i’ve come to learn that the drama doesn’t go away as we get older… the stakes just get higher. 

i learned that year how to hurt others the way i had been hurt and i learned that i didn’t want to be that hurtful.  i learned that the past can always come back to haunt you.  i learned that others cared about me as much as i cared about them.  i learned that forgiveness goes both ways.  i learned that i could rewrite my future at any time.

back then, i had the world figured out.  i was going to do great things.  i knew no fear.  i believed in love and happiness.

i’m a very different person today from who i was then or who i thought i would be.  most days, i know that i’m a better person.  some days, i really wish i could be me again.