so even though i’m wallowing in lonelinesswithout hubby, i managed to pull myself away from the couch for yoga night at the store.  go me!  thankfully, the dvd was slower paced and more leg intensive.  i’m sure i’ll still be feeling it tomorrow but last week’s pace on the arms about killed me.  i think tonight’s track was about forty-five minutes.

i don’t think i’ve actually ranted it because that makes it real… a very important member of our family has been not-so-slowly dying for the past few months.  i’ve been sitting at the side of the deathbed wishing and willing a miraculous recovery but i’m afraid it’s nearing time to pull the plug. 

RIP canon s1is.  you will be missed greatly but go with the comfort of knowing that you have been an excellent companion and you are loved immensely.  you have travelled around the world and provided us with countless memories these last five years.  i heart you!!!

yep, i’ve gone through all the stages… i was angry when the signs of illness very suddenly appeared on 19 february:

my anger quickly led to denial… i had not dropped, moistened, or in any way abused my poor camera.  surely it was going to be okay.  it must just be a temporary bug.  afterall, it still took some fairly normal photos when it wanted to.  the pink distortion would go away with time and tenderness, right?

next came the bargaining.  i emailed the two photographers i knew to ask their opinion of the symptoms and offer a possible diagnosis.  maybe i could get it fixed well enough that i could keep it for underwater photography.  afterall, the waterproof housing cost almost as much as the camera and it sure would be nice to not have to throw it away.  i didn’t mind getting a new everyday camera… just let this one live stably enough to be used on those rare wet occasions. 

when both of my photographer friends came back with different but equally costly sounding diagnoses, they both suggested it would be better for me to just move on.  this spiraled me into depression over my dearly departing camera.  not wanting to push it to an earlier grave, i put it up in a safe place to rest.  and too sad over my loss to think of replacing it, i’d resigned myself to a cameraless fate…

i think this weekend finally moved me into acceptance.  i started seriously looking at other cameras.  well, actually, i saw one camera and haven’t been able to look past it – what can i say, i fall fast and hard.  so my frontrunner right now is the canon sx10is.  it’s a bit bigger and heavier but i’m wowed by the features.  especially the 20x optical zoom!  i’m willing to look at others if you have any comparable recommendations.  unfortunately, i don’t know what to do with my very expensive (when i bought it anyhow) and newly worthless uw housing for the s1is, but i am considering a separate uw camera this time around.  this species is much more confusing and overwhelming to me.  the olympus 1030sw seems to be my best fit so far but i’m really unsure about the whole thing.  any suggestions are welcome.

thank you, elizabeth kubler-ross, for helping me to properly grieve and move on in this difficult time.

as much as we enjoyed our company over the weekend, it was so nice to have a quiet afternoon yesterday sunday with just us two.  it was heavenly. 

however, we did have a good time with family.  the parentsIL and teenagers arrived around 17:00 on thursday.  we hung out on the beach for a while and wiied a bit before hubby’s sis and BIL arrived around 22:00.  wii continued to play until 02:00 when everyone gave up waiting on hubby’s bro’s family to get here.  he stayed up to greet them when they got in around 03:30.

by friday morning, there were thirteen of us in our little 1273sq ft condo.  everyone was up and raring to go at 06:30 which means i spent a couple hours clenching a pillow over my head until i finally gave in and joined the crowd.  there was wii fun before everyone headed for the beach.  i abstained, choosing to remain in my air conditioning reading a book rather than sitting in the sun since there was no chance of me getting one of my two umbrellaed chairs with so many visitors.  i feel it was a good choice.  i read and dozed and conversed with folks as they came and went for snacks and such.  as the afternoon wore on, a group of them decided to make a grocery run and the rest went their separate ways for quiet time.  hubby and i went down to the beach and napped under our umbrella for a bit.  when we all regrouped, a picnic feast was prepared and we all headed back down to the beach to grill burgers and dogs. 

thankfully, saturday morning stayed quiet until closer to 08:00.  when i got up, i got right to work on a birthday cake for nephew c.j.  for lunch, he chose a restaurant and we all had a nice meal out.  we even got a bit of a show watching the giant carp, turtles, and raccoon enjoying their lunch behind the restaurant.  the rest of the afternoon was actually fairly quiet as half the group took the teens out for go-karting and putt-putt. 

sunday morning, the crowd started packing for home around 08:00.  they had all departed by 10:15.  hubby and i walked his parents down to their car and then spent a couple hours cleaning back up.  after that, we held down the couch the rest of the afternoon (with the exception of me getting up to change laundry loads every hour or so).  it was blissfully quiet and comfortably spacious.  while we genuinely enjoyed spending time with the family, especially those we don’t often see, 2.5 days was quite enough of having that many people cramped into our cozy condo!

on the whole, i think everyone else had a good weekend too.  niece a.g. even declared that she was going to spend her whole summer break with us!

since we will have family in town tomorrow afternoon, we won’t be able to do the bridge run.  to get our weekly social exercise in, we decided to try out the wednesday night yoga that they do at the store.  it was a small group – us and three others – so it wasn’t too uncomfortable as far as feeling like the clueless one.  they basically just pop in a tape from one of those cable tv yoga guys.  granted, it’s been like two months since i’ve done any fiiting, but i was feeling pretty comfortable with yoga based on it.  tonight, there were some poses that just kicked my rear.  i mean some seriously crazy stuff that some sadist concocted just to make me go “ugh!”.  it was a lot of the upper body poses which kill my wrists.  and i had no balance.  and i poured sweat the whole time (why do i never remember until i walk in the store that they keep it ridiculously hot in there?).  it was really a “who’s idea was this?!” kind of thing.  will we go back?  i’m sure we will.  because i really do like yoga even though i thoroughly suck at it and it totally kicks my rear.  i just need to remember to bring a small towel to wring the sweat off me.

last night was supposed to be my jog around the park but when we headed out, it looked very much like rain.  instead of just coming back home, we stopped at the gym where i got on the recumbent bike, per mello’s suggestion that it would be good for my lower legs.  first, i don’t understand how.  second, after thirty minutes and 7.1 miles, my left knee was throbbing.  today, i’ve got it wrapped with an ace bandage.  this worries me about my chances of doing the triathlon next month.

that would be us this weekend. 

after the bridge run on thursday, a few of us met up at a local restaurant/club for their last “little black dress party” of the season.  having never been, it wasn’t what i expected.  we’ve eaten at the restaurant and it’s a nice place.  i guess i expected the little black dress party to be a more sophisticated wine-type affair.  it was… a meat market.  don’t get me wrong, we had a good time with our friends but it just took me by surprise.  we made it an early night, getting home just after midnight. 

friday night, we were invited to dinner with shaw, a british guy in town for a couple months with the royal navy.  he’s been doing the bridge run with us the last couple weeks.  after dinner, we came back to our place where scooter and his wife met us for some mariokart fun.  when scooter and sunny decided to call it a night, us two and shaw headed out to our favorite hangout for some live music.  the place was dead but the music was decent so we hung out for a few sets.  we took shaw back to the naval base around 01:30 and made it back home by 02:00.  hubby was asleep almost immediately.  i stayed up until after 05:00 working on converting the website for our running store.  mello is now the proud owner of a nice looking, dynamic, and interactive website, if i do say so myself, for his store. 

saturday we ran a couple of errands before picking up shaw at the store so that he could reclaim his car from our parking garage.  hubby and i then crashed on the couch for a few hours before getting a call from mello and shaw inviting us to hooters to watch ufc.  there were a few good fights before the snoozer that was the main event.  we managed to make it home just after midnight. 

this morning, shaw came over and he and hubby went for a beach run.  when they got back, i made a big breakfast for all and we three walked down to the plaza to see a movie, where i felt personally violated by the new matinee prices.  shaw took off after the walk back home and hubby and i spent the rest of the afternoon holding down the couch.  it’s tiring to be social!

last night was the bridge run.  i’m not sure what i was doing differently but my right big toe was numb almost the whole time and my left knee and ankle were hurting.  it was also more physically tiring than last week, even though i maintained the same, super-slow jogging pace the entire way.  the good thing was that it was nice and cool and breezy.  more importantly, it was a side breeze so there was no running into the wind.  i would have liked some clouds to shield me from the sun more but i won’t complain too much since it was at least cool.

i just walked out to the living room where hubby was hard at work.  i looked up to see this:

Read the rest of this entry »

… keep your friggin mouth shut!

so we went to our plaza to jog some laps around the loop trail last night.  there were three guys there setting up a stage at the amphitheatre so we went around them and did our first lap.  on our second lap, they were sitting around talking when we jogged by.  one of them felt the need to holler “whoa!  slow down there speed demons!” as we passed.  talk about going from zero to fuming. 

just so we’re all on the same page… i know i’m slow.  i freely disclose that to anyone and everyone.  i lament it in all of my running posts.  but you know what?  i’m doing the best i can.  i’m pushing my body to stretch its limits.  and i certainly don’t need some fricknut sitting around on his @$$ discouraging me. 

i altered my route the next two laps to add some distance and avoid passing the $(&%)# again.  when it was all said and done, i jogged 3.5 miles.  it was slow but i jogged the whole way.

i got a call last night that was very disturbing to me.  it was about her.  it was second-hand.  me being me, i immediately went to worst case.  i assumed that she was in the hospital and things were bad.  why else would the call be presented like it was?  i quickly started preparing myself for a trip up there…  how would i handle the reunion?  would she even care?  thankfully, she is fine.  no injury, no sickness, no hospital.  it was about her finances. 

it’s been almost three years since she talked to me.  it’s been about two and a half years since she actually told me that she didn’t want to speak to or see me again.  and this person who knows nothing about me or my life thinks money should mend things?  talk about some effed up priorities…  and frankly, i’ll bet she’d be highly ticked off to know that i was told.

her situation sucks.  i’m sorry that she’s going through it because i love her.  but life is the choices we make.  ironically, the reason she kicked me out of her life is because i was attempting to give her helpful advice about this very matter.  please keep her in your prayers that this situation resolves itself favorably.

my oh my, today yesterday saturday (am i ever going to finish this post and publish it?!) was a busy day!  the alarm went off at 06:00, which was definitely the low-light of the day.  especially since i actually had to listen to it and get up out of bed.  that sucked.  but, by 07:00 we were at our favorite plaza helping our running store to put on a benefit race.  it was a 5k race with proceeds going to medical costs for a ten year old girl who suffered severe burns over 80% of her body in a house fire.  the girl was there, wearing #1, but i didn’t actually see her as i was hard at work.  i helped register people and hand out bib numbers until the race started.  once it started, we worked a water booth, filling cups and handing them to the runners as they raced by.  it was so funny to see the little kids’ faces light up when they saw those water cups.  the whole thing was a lot of fun (once i got past being awake so early), especially since i didn’t have to run!  and the turnout was awesome!  they said that most local races only bring 80-100 registrants but we had over 400.  i think mello said they were able to raise about $5,000 for the little girl.  after the race was over and the awards handed out (overall winner was an out of town guy who finished in sixteen minutes or so), a few of us got together for a much needed breakfast.  we then headed back home where our friends from ga were waiting for us.  they spent a few hours hanging out on the beach and at the pool before packing up to make the long trek back to atl.  i spent quite a while making an angel food cake trifle desert to bring to the bbq that mello was hosting for all who had helped with the race.  i tried to get a thirty minute nap after our guests left and before it was time to head to mello’s but my body does not react well to being timed so it was more of an eye-resting.  the party was a blast.  there was a great turnout and i got to talk a little with everyone so it was wonderful socializing.  i love having people to hang out with again!  we need to make it happen more often.

the crowds arriving

mello being interviewed by the local news

at the start line

the overall winner

mello awarding the female overall winner

after about a month, i finally got back to the bridge run last night.  it was super-slow but i did jog the entire gig.  of course, i only did once over so three miles.  i considered going halfway back up again but decided that i should take it easy since it’s been so long.  i felt much better about it than the last time i bridged so that’s a good thing.  yes, it was still frustrating to see people passing me on their way back to the parking lot before i was even off the bridge.  for those playing along at home that means that they were more than two miles ahead of me even though we all started together.  but i tried not to beat myself up about it and concentrated on my music and my heart-rate.  i kept my pace slow enough the whole time that i did not feel like i was going to die at any point, which i think improved my outlook.  mello pep-talked me some more back in the parking lot so that helped too.  i also *knock on wood* don’t have any pain in my legs after my month-long sabbatical.  maybe if i play by the rules this time i’ll see some improvement one of these days.

for the first time in nearly a month, i got some exercise today.  we went to the loop trail beside the mall and did four laps around.  i jogged, very slowly, the entire 3.6 miles.  though i didn’t break any speed records, i at least got some activity again.  hopefully this will be the start of a renewed routine.  we’ll see.  if nothing else, the thursday run shouldn’t be a total and complete shock to my system after this long sabbatical.