Archive for October, 2018

2018
21
Oct
11:22

Four

   Posted by: arcanai    in heartache

it’s been four years since i felt your heart stop beating. four years since i kissed you goodbye for the last time. four years worth of tears and laughs and all the feels in between. you’ve missed so much. the turkey asks about you and loves looking at pictures of you. the sequel… oh my goodness, he’s a character! you would get such a kick out of him. i wish you had met him. i give him a kiss on the forehead from you every night but i don’t know if he’ll ever be able to connect. at least the turkey has pictures and videos of you holding him; he knows how much you loved him. for the sequel, you’re just an abstract. it breaks my heart all the time. as if i don’t think of you enough this time of year, you were with me constantly the last week and a half. we were just barely missed by a major hurricane. while we sat, safely evacuated, watching the coverage all i could think is how you would be having a heart attack over it. what i wouldn’t have given to hear your frantic phone calls. it’s been too long, daddy. i love and miss you.

2018
10
Oct
20:59

take it to the Lord in prayer

   Posted by: arcanai    in the turkey

at lunch, the turkey asked his grandmother if she was having a good day. she said she wasn’t because her leg was hurting her. the turkey’s response was to bow his head and say a prayer for his grandmother. i’m so glad i was able to witness such a beautiful moment.

i almost missed the whole exchange because i was so absorbed in twc’s coverage of the hurricane barreling down on our home. a slight shift to the east at the last minute spared us from the brunt of the storm’s damage. we were so fortunate but i’m heartsick for all of those who ended up in those crosshairs that we thought were trained on us.

2018
7
Oct
14:10

retirement

   Posted by: arcanai    in Nuthin' Special

i just shut down my work pc for the last time. i’ll mail it in later this week. i’m astounded at how difficult this has been for me. i’ve been with this company for 15 years. i’ve been working for financial gain for 28 years. i’ve always felt financially independent but now i’ll be contributing nothing to our household income. my entire worth is going to be measured by whether i can make two little boys mind and learn. it’s very scary. in addition to being the lowest pay job i’ve ever had, it’s also the most important. i pray that i don’t fail.

2018
6
Oct
21:35

gentleman’s choice

   Posted by: arcanai    in the turkey

on monday, friends we haven’t seen in a very long time came over to swim. it was the girl the turkey plans to marry and her older sister. since we haven’t seen much of them this year, this was the first time he filled her and her mommy in on his plans to wed her. her mom was as amused as we were. this morning, we ran into them again at the monthly hd kids workshop and we had a great time together. this evening, i received a voicemail from the mom saying that her girls were arguing over who was going to marry my turkey. apparently, the younger girl settled the argument by saying “well turkey gets to decide and he chose me!” verily, i am amused.

i wonder if i should tell them all that i already picked my best friend’s little girl to be my future daughter-in-law when i first got pregnant with him.