Archive for the ‘Nuthin’ Special’ Category

2018
24
Aug
13:18

for quits

   Posted by: arcanai

i quit my job today. in a month or so, i’ll be a full-time sahm. i am excited and terrified… we’re making a big sacrifice so i hope that i don’t fail. granted, i’ve been a full-time sahm AND a full-time employee for four years so this should be much easier but i’m still anxious to do it right.

2018
3
Jun
21:17

helping others

   Posted by: arcanai

so, we teach our boys that we help people. and we do. anytime we can. but how do you teach your kid that we need to help others but that it’s not always safe to accept help from others? today, we had a very long trip home from alabama. when we got home, the boys were tired and hungry and the turkey had to pee. hubby and were both loaded down with baggage. it was a mad dash to get home and get back to normal. the elevator stopped a floor before ours and a little boy, not much older than the turkey, got on by himself. hubby and i exchanged an “oh-my-goodness-what-are-his-parents-thinking” look. he got off on our floor and by the time we got all of our stuff out of the elevator, he was back from the unit he had gone to and he was visibly upset. we asked and he said nobody was answering at the door. we asked him if he wanted to come home with us so that we could help him find his mom. yes, i know that the right thing would have been to not put him in a position where he needed to come into our home but, as i said, we were heavily laden and not thinking of anything more than getting our boys home and getting him help. he didn’t even hesitate to accept our help which immediately rang warning bells in my head because our boys wouldn’t either. and while we knew we were truly there to help him… who else might he have gone off with that wouldn’t have been so nice? and my boys would too. in a heartbeat. because we teach them the value of helping. *sigh* so we brought him home and he calmed down while playing with the boys and hubby called our security service to let them know we had found a lost boy. fortunately, his mom had already contacted them so it didn’t take long for her to come up and retrieve her son. they both cried their eyes out in our foyer and i cried thinking of all the ways that things could have gone wrong for this little boy (today is his 6th birthday) and how easy it would have been for it to be my boy instead. they were on the crowded elevator together and he ran off of it before she could grab him. i’ve had that fear every single time i’ve gotten on or off the elevators with my boys… how easy it would be for one of them to slip away from me at the very last second. so we started drilling the turkey about what to do if we get separated in the building here. and we’ll continue to drill it into him, along with other safety plans. he needs to memorize one of our phone numbers… this poor boy didn’t even know how to reach his mom. but how do we not scare him to death? how do we not ruin his innocence with worries about “bad people”? how do we tell him that we should always help but he needs to say “no. thank you.” if someone wants to bring him home to help? i want to go apologize to his mother for how worried she must have been about him coming home with strangers. i want to apologize for being so quick to judgement when we saw him alone on the elevator. and i want to let her know how terrified i was for his safety, like he was my own.

2016
14
Dec
20:15

Feeling the fail

   Posted by: arcanai

Because the turkey is such a good kid, I have a tendency to the sight of the fact that he’s still a toddler. There are times when his behavior is not quite exemplary and I end up feeling like a huge failure of a mother. I need to get past this urge to internalize and hold him up to a standard that’s unrealistic. Fact of the matter is that even at his Worst Behavior we are incredibly blessed to have such a great kid.

2016
24
Mar
22:29

Kick me

   Posted by: arcanai

Today was the first day I could feel real kicks and rolls, not just imperceptible flutters. From barely noticeable gas bubbles yesterday to a “kick me” sign on my bladder today. Just in time for out check up tomorrow.

2015
26
Oct
7:52

insomnia, migraine, and hot flashes – oh my!

   Posted by: arcanai

i’ve had terrible insomnia again for the last three weeks.  i’ve tried sleep aids but they really just make it worse when they make me all drowsy and i still can’t sleep.  i think i’ve had two nights of decent sleep (6 or more hours) but the average is probably 2-3.  makes for some really rough days and general malaise.  add to that the massive migraine i’ve been sporting since thursday and the brutal return of hot flashes and night sweats… i’m assuming this means my body/hormones are finally starting to normalize after 21 months of supporting another life.  maybe if i weren’t so bloody tired, with flames all over my skin and explosions behind my right eyeball, i could muster a “yay” for that.

2015
5
Oct
17:51

nectar of the gods

   Posted by: arcanai

today was the turkey’s first taste of peanut butter.  he had it for lunch and no reactions yet so i think we’re good.  not that i expected any problems.  nobody in either of our families has pb alergies and i ate so much of it while i was pregnant, i’m surprised he’s not made of it.  he LOVED it.  he was actually using his bread to mop up the plate (where pb had inevitably gotten stuck when a piece of toast got flipped wrong).  just wait until he discovers the ecstasy of peanut butter/chocolate confections!

2015
27
Sep
21:07

Mother of the year

   Posted by: arcanai

Aka: arcanai and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
this morning, i allowed my poor little boy to nearly get concussed.  he took no naps whatsoever so we were all grouchy all day.  and then i almost cooked his hand tonight.  i cried and cried at the close call.  tomorrow must be a better day.

2015
2
Aug
21:55

excessive pride and gratitude

   Posted by: arcanai

i am always overwhelmingly proud of my little boy when we’re out and about.  he is so pleasant and well-behaved and we are constantly surrounded by strangers who want to talk/flirt with him.  it makes me feel like we must be doing something right.  i thank God over and over and over for such bountiful blessings.  i am unworthy to be this boy’s mother but he looks at me with his bright blue eyes and lets me know that he wouldn’t have it any other way.

this afternoon, he got tired and cranky shortly before dinner time.  we had already decided to go out for dinner and as i was getting the boy dressed, he had his first full-blown tantrum meltdown.  i’m talking laying on his belly on his bedroom floor crying and flailing his legs and arms tantrum.  we ignored him while we continued to get ready to go out and i picked him up and calmed him just before leaving, not sure that going out was a good idea anymore.  we went to a restaurant we haven’t been to in a while and ended up waiting twenty minutes for a table.   and then it took forty-five minutes to get our food.  of course, this also put him past his bed time so he should have been a complete monster.  nope.  he played, sucked on ice, ate cheerios, and flirted with everyone seated around us.  not once did he grump.  he had no less than three tables full of strangers smiling and talking with him.  when we left, he made friends with people sitting outside waiting for tables.  seriously, his joy is infectious and people are just drawn to him.  it brings tears of pride and gratitude to my eyes every time.

2015
29
Jul
22:31

Do I make you proud?

   Posted by: arcanai

It’s inborn for us to need to make our parents proud.  There are times when the turkey will do something and immediately look to us with an expression of “did I do good? did I make you proud?” we give him praise and he just lights up.  It makes my heart swell.   I hope he always knows just how proud he makes me.

2015
26
Jul
22:43

Late night reflections

   Posted by: arcanai

It’s been a long day, it’s late, and I’m beyond exhausted.  I’ve stayed up late enough to “dream feed” my baby boy.  I carefully scoop him up out of his crib and put him to my breast while I take my seat in the rocker.  He slowly suckles in sleepy comfort with his hand spread out on my chest before I feel the familiar tingle and hear him swallowing in big gulps.  Immediately, all my thoughts of bed are replaced with gratitude.  Thank you, Lord, for this precious gift; for all of the blessings in my life.  I am so humbled to have so much when I am so undeserving.

2015
10
Jul
9:35

what sorcery is this?

   Posted by: arcanai

despite all my efforts, i’m down another 3.5 pounds in the last two weeks. under normal circumstances, i’d be jumping for joy over that but not now. i think that’s been the biggest surprise since childbirth. i can’t believe how hard it has been for me to maintain weight.  i lost the pregnancy weight almost immediately and then just kept on losing.  it seemed pretty cool at first until i noticed that it seemed to affect my milk supply as well.  so i’ve been working like crazy for ten months to keep the weight steady.  the few times i’ve tried to start an exercise routine again, i’ve had to give it up pretty quickly because my weight just dropped.  this recent weight loss is perplexing because we were on vacation, eating out and stuffing faces.  and i’ve been eating nonstop since we’ve been back home.  it just doesn’t seem to matter how many heaping spoonfuls of cookie dough i glut myself on (i know; my problem is every woman’s dream).  the only thing i can think of is that i recently increased my thyroid dosage but that never benefited my weight before.  on the bright side, if i ever balloon up and need to lose weight in the future, i’ll just start breastfeeding someone :-)

2015
25
May
22:37

6th trimester nesting

   Posted by: arcanai

apparently my nesting instinct has finally kicked in.  i spent the weekend on a household rampage.  i rearranged the turkey’s room about three times – still not happy with it but i’m giving it a few days to grow on me or for inspiration to strike on a better arrangement.  i got hubby to hang the artwork that i had created for him.  i went through all of the hand-me-down clothes that we’ve received to pack them into boxes by size.  i started going through and throwing away junk that was standing in the way of our “baby-proofing”.  i’ve done several loads of laundry and i cooked three meals for the week tonight.  color me exhausted.

2015
10
Mar
20:56

Double trouble

   Posted by: arcanai

Finally, at 6.5 months (201 days) old, the turkey has officially doubled his birth weight.  A couple months late but growth is growth and he is such a little chunk these days.  He’s also getting ready to be a load of trouble.  He’s not really crawling around us but he’s rolling over onto his belly and scooting around his crib, reaching through the bars trying to find trouble.  Tonight, he scooted himself over to the corner and was hitting the button on his little light/music aquarium trying to turn it on.  He’s such a little smarty.  I don’t see how but my love and pride and joy for that little boy increase exponentially every day.

2014
16
Oct
23:58

first family camp-out

   Posted by: arcanai

After last night’s post about how well the turkey was doing with his shots, the nonstop vomiting began. For some reason, so far, nothing has bothered me more than vomiting. I guess it’s because my only real responsibility right now is to feed him and make sure he gets enough to eat. When he loses a meal, my heart just breaks for him and I usually end up crying. Last night was far worse than anything we’ve seen yet. The poor thing ended up with dry heaves once. He also started running a fever. We broke out the tylenol at 100.1 degrees. We ended up doing our first family camp-out. I “slept” on the love seat, hubby slept on the sofa, and the turkey slept on the ottoman where we could both reach him. It was a long night.

the family that lays together...

He did much better today. He kept his meals down and even started to get back to his normal appetite by this evening. He was still sporadically howling and super lethargic. The only real awake time he had all day was shower time. I took his bandaids off and washed/massaged the injection sites and he never even flinched. He was fever-free all day until just a bit ago when he spiked to 101.1 and had his first real diarrhea diaper. It’s so hard to see him feeling bad even though he’s staying in great spirits. He smiles through all his diaper changes and laughs and chatters while we’re trying to get tylenol in him. But he’s just not himself and I know he doesn’t feel good. I think he may already be figuring out that he can make us feel bad for him or worry about him to score some living room naps throughout the day.  i just hope that he’s feeling better in the morning when we take him on his first road trip.

tummy naps around momma and daddy are so much better than napping alone in my crib

2014
13
Oct
18:11

preparing for lift-off

   Posted by: arcanai

my dad’s been in the hospital again this weekend.  even though it seems to be the same issues that kept him in the hospital for 2.5 weeks earlier this year – fluid on the lungs, fatigue, shortness of breath – they are calling it congestive heart failure now and that just seems so much more urgent to me.  hubby has been pushing to make a trip to see all of the family before i start working again but i’ve been hesitant to go anywhere without the turkey’s shots, which he gets friday, and i’ve already committed to going back to work next monday.  it just seems too much to deal with figuring out a new schedule while traveling.  this morning, i went ahead and pushed my start date another week at work and rescheduled the shots for wednesday.  that should give him a couple of days for the effects to wear off and then we can hit the road first thing friday.  we’re going to spend the weekend visiting the alabama grandparents and then head to orlando on sunday for some time with my family.  hopefully my dad will be home from the hospital by then so that he can spend some time with his grandbaby.