it’s been twenty-seven days since my last chapstick application.  it all started when I was a kid and my mom would slather the waxy, cherry-flavored goodness all over me every time I was within her reach.  she then started buying me my own tubes to carry with me.  before I was out of elementary school, I found myself unable to go anywhere without chapstick in my pocket.  it wasn’t until high school that I really started experimenting, leaving the childish chapstick behind and using various types of soft lips and blistex instead.  when I started college, I was introduced to the hard stuff.  that’s right… carmex!  after I discovered that mentholated tube of lip-crack, there was no going back.  nothing else could compare.

in adulthood, I have often been teased and ridiculed for my addiction.  I ran out once while traveling a few years ago and my husband challenged me to take the opportunity to quit.  I went twenty-seven grueling hours without carmex before hubby made the mistake of searching for chapstick addiction on the interwebs and reading me the horror stories of withdrawal.  I immediately decided that my habit wasn’t hurting anyone and giving it up was NOT worthwhile.  I didn’t want to go through the pain and humiliation of having my lips fall off.

so… nearly four weeks ago, I found myself in that same predicament of running out while traveling.  I went to the store and bought a three-pack of carmex… and never opened the package.  I don’t know why.  there was no real thought process or reasoning behind it… I just decided to quit.  it didn’t even seem that big a deal.  the first week was practically a non-event; I just didn’t think about my lips.  the second week, I had a small split in my lower lip that bugged me for a couple days and made me more aware of my lips but I never felt the need to bust out the carmex.  the third week has been… hell.  my lips are suddenly so dry that they are all I can think about.  I can’t smile without licking my lips first because they are so dry and tight.  I have had countless occasions this week where I have nearly fallen off the wagon.  I want carmex. I NEED carmex.   my lips hurt;  they are making me extremely self-conscious.  today, they are cracking and peeling and I am back to feeling that this is not a worthwhile endeavor.  but… I will stick with it because I am no quitter and I have already sacrificed nearly four weeks.  here’s hoping that week four is the light at the end of this tunnel.