I’ve been missing my daddy with a throbbing, achy heartache in the last couple days again.  He would have been so excited about the Turkey’s first Christmas.  This morning, I figured out the one thing that’s really been bothering me… I wish I knew that he was at peace/content with his life.  I know that he lived with regrets.  I hope that he wasn’t carrying those regrets at the end.  I hope that he felt like he had done all he could to make things right and that he was satisfied with his life.  The problem is, I’ve been racking my brain and I can’t think of a time he ever said that his life was a good one and he was okay with things. I know he was angry and scared and not ready to go the week before he died. My sister said he was more peaceful later that week. When I last spoke to him, he was just happy to be up and moving around. At the hospital, he was agitated and wanted to go home. Back when our coworker died, almost nine years ago, I was able to give his wife the comfort of a conversation I had had with him just weeks before. Another coworker was very sick and was going through a double lung transplant and rb made a comment about what a good life he’d had and that if he died tomorrow, he had no regrets. I wish I could think of a time when my father might have said something like that. I pray that he felt that way.

Friends, if anything were to happen to me, I want you to know that I have loved my life. I have no real regrets. I have had more blessings and joy than any one person deserves. And I know that it all pales in comparison to what God has waiting for me in the life after. Would I be sad to leave my loved ones behind? To not see my beautiful son grow into an amazing man? Absolutely! But, truly, it is well with my soul.