2015
30
Jan
9:00

Done

   Posted by: arcanai   in heartache

I’ve struggled with the inner turmoil for years of what should I do and how I wish things were different.  The last couple years, becoming a follower of Jesus and a mother and losing my daddy, have made me fret over “the right thing” a lot more and renew my efforts at reconciliation.  I thought my first efforts were bearing fruit but Was proven wrong last Easter.  I have picked myself up and tried a couple more times since then.  I’m officially done.  I’m used to getting the pleasant looking greeting cards filled with nasty notes but she took it to a whole new level this time.  She somehow managed to take all of my heartfelt olive branches and twist and warp them into ugliness that I didn’t even think was possible.  I can’t fathom the sickness of mind that it takes to do that.  I used to lament our relationship and the loss of that special call every year on my birthday but now I just wish to never receive anything from her again.  I feel like I have done what I was called to do but now it’s time to let it all go and focus on the good things in my life.  I cannot continue to expose myself to that toxicity and I will not expose my child to it.  I pray that she finds help one day but I have finally come to realize that i can’t be that help. 

This entry was posted on Friday, January 30th, 2015 at 9:00 and is filed under heartache. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

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