Done
I’ve struggled with the inner turmoil for years of what should I do and how I wish things were different. The last couple years, becoming a follower of Jesus and a mother and losing my daddy, have made me fret over “the right thing” a lot more and renew my efforts at reconciliation. I thought my first efforts were bearing fruit but Was proven wrong last Easter. I have picked myself up and tried a couple more times since then. I’m officially done. I’m used to getting the pleasant looking greeting cards filled with nasty notes but she took it to a whole new level this time. She somehow managed to take all of my heartfelt olive branches and twist and warp them into ugliness that I didn’t even think was possible. I can’t fathom the sickness of mind that it takes to do that. I used to lament our relationship and the loss of that special call every year on my birthday but now I just wish to never receive anything from her again. I feel like I have done what I was called to do but now it’s time to let it all go and focus on the good things in my life. I cannot continue to expose myself to that toxicity and I will not expose my child to it. I pray that she finds help one day but I have finally come to realize that i can’t be that help.
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