i’ve been highly disturbed about my dad this week. entirely different from the constant missing him. i’ve been having bad dreams. not the normal sad “i miss you” dreams but crazy negative dreams where i’m in complete fear of him or filled with hatred for him.  awful feelings that i have no reason at all to feel.  i wake feeling discombobulated and, well, disturbed.  this morning, i noticed that my favorite photo of me and him had somehow fallen over and was face down on it’s narrow little shelf.  i righted it with a thought of how strange it was for it to fall over like that without falling off the shelf.  just a little while ago, that photo crashed to the floor, narrowly missing the turkey who was playing nearby and was fortunately untouched by the spray of glass shards from the frame.  i am… disturbed.