the nights have been pretty tough.  not just because i’ve got a newborn so i’m up every other hour feeding him but, when i do lay down, i put my hands on my belly and there’s nothing there.  my husband doesn’t get it.  he can’t.  but i feel so much grief over the fact that there will never be life in my belly again.  it will never again grow full and round and heavy (well, unless i keep eating ALL THE CHOCOLATE).  it will never again be filled with the movements of arms and legs and hicups.  two kids is enough.  but it’s so hard to accept that i’ll never be pregnant again.