mom enough II

   Posted by: arcanai   in feelin bad

i’m so glad that we decided to call it quits at two. as much as i would love to be pregnant again and have an itty bitty in my arms again, i just know that i’m not mom enough for three. days like today, i’m pretty sure i’m not mom enough for the two i’ve got. the turkey spent the whole day telling me how much he’d rather be doing things with daddy than with me. like he couldn’t stand the thought of spending time with momma. and i get it. as far as he can see, i’ve all but abandoned him to his daddy’s care over the last 8.5 months. add to that the fact that dad is the fun one who does nothing but play with him… why would he want to spend time with me? all the time that i spend taking care of the family doesn’t matter to him. all he sees is that i’m not playing with him. the fact that i spend entirely too much time in the kitchen cooking nutritious family meals because i love them and want them to eat well even though i hate cooking… who cares, i’m not playing with him. it’s so hard being the responsible one that keeps everything moving when none of that really matters to the ones you’re working so hard for. and that’s just what being a mom is. you have to do it all and get none of the credit and nobody really even cares but you know that it’s your job even though it means you’ll never get to be the fun one. and it sucks some days and i just want to cry when he looks me in the eye and asks me if he can please go play with daddy instead and i just have to suck it up and take it because he doesn’t mean it to be a personal affront to me and i have no right to let him see my insecurity. i love my two little boys. there’s no way i could possibly handle being mom to three.

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 25th, 2017 at 21:57 and is filed under feelin bad. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

Leave a reply

Name (*)
Mail (will not be published) (*)