i’m struggling.

hard.

i am going through a black season of motherhood and i feel like an epic failure every day. it seems that all i do is harp on the turkey, telling him don’t do this and don’t do that. and halfway through the day i’m just too exhausted to even care any more. i want to cry all the time. i try. i swear i do. i get up every morning with a prayer in my heart and a resolution to be more patient and understanding and positive. and then i find myself yelling and threatening and spanking.

i’m not the mom i wanted to be. i’m not the mom i thought i would be.

Lord, heavenly Father, please lead and guide me to be the mom that you intended me to be; the mom that these boys need me to be. soften my heart, Lord, and slow my frustration. in Jesus’ name, amen.