2018
3
Jun
21:17

helping others

   Posted by: arcanai   in Nuthin' Special

so, we teach our boys that we help people. and we do. anytime we can. but how do you teach your kid that we need to help others but that it’s not always safe to accept help from others? today, we had a very long trip home from alabama. when we got home, the boys were tired and hungry and the turkey had to pee. hubby and were both loaded down with baggage. it was a mad dash to get home and get back to normal. the elevator stopped a floor before ours and a little boy, not much older than the turkey, got on by himself. hubby and i exchanged an “oh-my-goodness-what-are-his-parents-thinking” look. he got off on our floor and by the time we got all of our stuff out of the elevator, he was back from the unit he had gone to and he was visibly upset. we asked and he said nobody was answering at the door. we asked him if he wanted to come home with us so that we could help him find his mom. yes, i know that the right thing would have been to not put him in a position where he needed to come into our home but, as i said, we were heavily laden and not thinking of anything more than getting our boys home and getting him help. he didn’t even hesitate to accept our help which immediately rang warning bells in my head because our boys wouldn’t either. and while we knew we were truly there to help him… who else might he have gone off with that wouldn’t have been so nice? and my boys would too. in a heartbeat. because we teach them the value of helping. *sigh* so we brought him home and he calmed down while playing with the boys and hubby called our security service to let them know we had found a lost boy. fortunately, his mom had already contacted them so it didn’t take long for her to come up and retrieve her son. they both cried their eyes out in our foyer and i cried thinking of all the ways that things could have gone wrong for this little boy (today is his 6th birthday) and how easy it would have been for it to be my boy instead. they were on the crowded elevator together and he ran off of it before she could grab him. i’ve had that fear every single time i’ve gotten on or off the elevators with my boys… how easy it would be for one of them to slip away from me at the very last second. so we started drilling the turkey about what to do if we get separated in the building here. and we’ll continue to drill it into him, along with other safety plans. he needs to memorize one of our phone numbers… this poor boy didn’t even know how to reach his mom. but how do we not scare him to death? how do we not ruin his innocence with worries about “bad people”? how do we tell him that we should always help but he needs to say “no. thank you.” if someone wants to bring him home to help? i want to go apologize to his mother for how worried she must have been about him coming home with strangers. i want to apologize for being so quick to judgement when we saw him alone on the elevator. and i want to let her know how terrified i was for his safety, like he was my own.

2018
23
May
21:24

blessings upon blessings

   Posted by: arcanai   in the sequel, the turkey

the turkey is doing really well with reading and he’s starting to grasp really important math concepts. he overwhelms me with his effervescent joy. an infectious light just shines from him. don’t get me wrong; he’s no angel. we still have lots of attitude regarding sharing and brother getting attention but, the majority of the time, he’s just full of joy. his laugh is the sound that i imagine fills heaven.

the sequel is able to jump both feet off the floor and hold his own weight while swinging.  he is insanely affectionate. he’s got three teeth coming in right now so he’s crankier than normal but he also wants extra snuggles when he wakes up and it’s just so sweet. he scoops up both his lovies, his blanky, and his glow-friend (emptying the bed) and hops into my arms. when i ask him if he is ready to get up yet, he says “no. i snuggling.” and his voice just kills me.

i am constantly amazed at the blessings the Lord gives me.

2018
5
May
15:51

dried up

   Posted by: arcanai   in the turkey

the sequel is officially weaned. it’s very sad but it was time. he didn’t even notice the first couple nights. and then he woke up one morning, snuggled up to me, and asked for milk. i think it was just a comfort measure because he was sick. i will miss this phase of motherhood tremendously!

2018
21
Apr
17:06

name that brother

   Posted by: arcanai   in the sequel

the sequel woke up this morning and decided he could say his brother’s name. and, just for good measure, he even through in his own name!

2018
20
Apr
12:47

family time

   Posted by: arcanai   in family time, the sequel, the turkey

sometimes i think it would be nice to have some family nearby. my sissy, BIL, and niece are visiting this week and the boys are absolutely loving it. the sequel just keeps going around shouting “auntie*, auntie, auntie!” at dinner the other night, the turkey asked “aunt auntie*, do you have Jesus in your heart?” completely out of the blue. she, of course, said she does and asked what about him to which he replied “yes, i do! right here *pointing to chest*!” moments like that, i don’t think we’re messing things up too bad with our parenting. it has been wonderful having the aunt, uncle, and cousin here all week though. we’ve had dinners together every night and we’ve played and gone to playgrounds and just loved loving on family. i’m seriously of the opinion that they should just go ahead and move here.

*”auntie” used in place of actual name to protect the innocent

and, speaking of heart-melting moments, the turkey got me yesterday when i said “you are my favoritest love-monkey ever!” and he smiled at me and said “mommy, that makes me so happy!!!”

2018
16
Mar
8:46

a lot to say

   Posted by: arcanai   in the sequel

the sequel started putting together sentences last week. he quickly progressed from “more milk” to “thank you, daddy” to “happy birthday to you”. he is such a unique little joy. unlike his brother, he is very physical and very musical. he has a tremendous vocabulary for his age that astounds me. i love him to pieces!

2018
11
Feb
22:50

we will not negotiate with…

   Posted by: arcanai   in the turkey

we are eyeball deep in the t3rr0r!st threes. oh. my. goodness. the turkey is seriously breaking me. zero respect. zero obedience. total attitude.

he’s doing hunger strikes… even his favorite foods, he’ll just refuse to eat on the basic principle that i’ve served it to him. of course, we don’t just roll over for that so if he doesn’t eat, he doesn’t get anything else until he does. we’ve gone up to four meals on the same plate of food before he finally decided he was hungry enough to comply. you would think that would be enough to bring him back in line but you’d be so wrong. the next meal, here we go again.

then there’s sleep… we had moved them into the same room a few months ago so that we could have a nice playroom. we quickly discovered that they absolutely could not nap together so the turkey’s been having to do his naps in his tent in the playroom. some days he does alright, a lot of days he just spends the whole time talking or singing at the top of his lungs. nights were going pretty well until recently. either the sequel will be trying to entertain his brother by jumping in his crib which, naturally, gets the turkey jumping too. or the sequel will be trying to settle down and the turkey will goad him until he gets up and starts the party. most nights, the turkey doesn’t fall asleep until almost 21:00 but now the sequel is getting pulled into that sleep deprivation and so we’ve had to start putting the turkey in his tent in the other room at night too. i suspect that we’ll just undo the playroom soon and be done with it but it’s so disappointing. i know that millions of kids around this world share rooms but we just can’t seem to make it work. epic fail on our part.

sharing… ha! our super sweet little boy who loved his baby brother and couldn’t get enough of holding him and playing with him has turned into such an ugly little green-eyed monster. the sequel can’t play with anything without the turkey pitching a fit and trying to grab it from him. it doesn’t even matter whose it is. the turkey can’t have any fun because he’s so worried about what his brother is doing. his frustration has turned to kicking toys or walls, punching furniture, and sometimes trying to strike out at brother himself. i swear, we have tried all of the psychology to get him over his jealousy and get him expressing his feelings in more constructive ways but no luck. we get the same kinds of reactions to basic requests and calls to clean, eat, or sleep.

he is seriously wearing me down. it’s a good thing that we wanted the kids to be close together because if this behavior had started before having the sequel, he’d be an only child for sure. i’m praying that my sweet little boy is still in there somewhere and that we’ll see him again soon. and i’m praying that the sequel goes easier on us because i don’t know if i can go through this again. i am most certainly not mom enough.

i just keep praying and reminding myself… he was a super easy baby… he was a super easy toddler… we had to pay the price somewhere along the way, didn’t we?

2018
11
Feb
22:23

poo, yes, no

   Posted by: arcanai   in the sequel

the sequel p00ped in the potty for the first time today. obviously, we’re not actually trying to train yet but he thinks it’s fun to sit on the potty like big brother does. he’s such a clever boy!

in other news, we have left the “yeh, yeh, yeh” stage and entered the “no, no, no” stage. it’s so funny when he just starts spouting off with it.

he’s also starting to fight his naps. i guess we’ll be dropping back to one soon.

2018
23
Jan
12:51

and not to be forgotten

   Posted by: arcanai   in the sequel

the sequel is making his own strides. he loves to sing and dance. he will try saying almost anything. he likes to count to three and say ABEs. he is incredibly affectionate with stuffies and with us. but he also has a horrible temper and runs from me all the time. i’m not sure how to break that one but “come here” definitely does not produce the desired results right now. he does not like to be left at the church nursery and cries as soon as i put him down. sometimes they have to take him to brother’s class to get him to calm down. i have been working on his birth book (yeh, about time right?) and it’s killing me how fast he has grown. i can’t believe my itty bitty is a toddler already.

2018
22
Jan
22:09

passing grades

   Posted by: arcanai   in the turkey

the turkey has had an educational resurgence here lately. he’s reading simple books, drawing shapes, writing letters (he wrote his name all on his own today!), and drawing stick people. he’s even dabbling in reading a clock and counting money. i’m so stinking proud of that boy! and the crowning moment of the week? one of the snowbirds has grandchildren visiting this week so she brought her granddaughter over for a play date this morning. while they were playing kitchen, the turkey made her stop to say a prayer before sitting down to “eat”. we can’t be messing up too badly, right?

2017
19
Dec
23:21

15+ months and counting

   Posted by: arcanai   in the sequel

i can’t believe how fast my little mouse is growing. he is full speed ahead on everything, no fear. he’s stubbornly independent but totally snuggly and affectionate. he loves, loves, loves giving kisses. they are wet and sloppy and completely fantastic!  he’s currently cutting his tenth tooth. he likes to squat down to play and can squat on his haunches for much longer than i can. he can correctly point to my facial features and is starting to identify colors and animals/objects in books. i’m thrilled that he’s finally starting to get into books! he is truly a parrot. it amazes me how many words and phrases he tries to repeat. he’s been heard to say:

  • mommy
  • daddy
  • baby
  • hi
  • bye
  • play
  • hola
  • moon
  • “lay down”
  • “whoo” (owl sound)
  • brother
  • ball
  • blue
  • “i love you”
  • please
  • 1, 2, 3
  • a, e, i, o, u
  • “choo choo”
  • diaper
  • shoe
2017
15
Dec
21:48

down the drain

   Posted by: arcanai   in the turkey

we officially started potty training with the turkey this week. i have no illusions that we won’t have accidents but, so far, i am amazed at how well he is doing. we’ve had five days of no accidents. i’m so proud of my turkey!

2017
3
Dec
22:24

epic fail

   Posted by: arcanai   in heartache

i’m struggling.

hard.

i am going through a black season of motherhood and i feel like an epic failure every day. it seems that all i do is harp on the turkey, telling him don’t do this and don’t do that. and halfway through the day i’m just too exhausted to even care any more. i want to cry all the time. i try. i swear i do. i get up every morning with a prayer in my heart and a resolution to be more patient and understanding and positive. and then i find myself yelling and threatening and spanking.

i’m not the mom i wanted to be. i’m not the mom i thought i would be.

Lord, heavenly Father, please lead and guide me to be the mom that you intended me to be; the mom that these boys need me to be. soften my heart, Lord, and slow my frustration. in Jesus’ name, amen.

2017
3
Dec
22:09

flattery

   Posted by: arcanai   in the turkey

the turkey has taken to flattery as a means to trying to get out of trouble. when i’m upset with him, he puts on his sweetest smile and says things like “i like your hair” and  “you’re so beautiful”. i’m not too proud to admit that the first two or three times, i just reveled in the compliments and didn’t really notice the manipulation. if he had been more prudent in his usage, i may have stayed blissfully ignorant for quite some time. alas, a three year old doesn’t have the sense to look at the big picture and ration out his get-out-of-jail-free cards. i quickly became savvy to his charming wiles. but, oh, it was so nice to hear such lovely words!

2017
31
Oct
15:06

a pain in the gums

   Posted by: arcanai   in the sequel

a couple days ago,  discovered that the sequel’s 7th tooth had snuck in with the 5th and 6th (upper incisors). i was tickling him and his wide open-mouthed laughter allowed me a glimpse of his upper right molar that was already half-way descended. how on earth did i miss that? i remember the turkey being completely and utterly miserable when his first molar broke through. the sequel’s been cranky but not enough for that kind of pain! today, i decided to look around some more and found that the opposing molar (upper left) is pretty close to cutting through too. i’ve joked with him plenty about just popping them all out at once to get it over with but he’s taking it to heart!

his vocabulary is also taking off like crazy. this week, he’s started saying “baby”, “bear”, “corduroy”, and “play”.