2017
25
May
21:57

mom enough II

   Posted by: arcanai   in feelin bad

i’m so glad that we decided to call it quits at two. as much as i would love to be pregnant again and have an itty bitty in my arms again, i just know that i’m not mom enough for three. days like today, i’m pretty sure i’m not mom enough for the two i’ve got. the turkey spent the whole day telling me how much he’d rather be doing things with daddy than with me. like he couldn’t stand the thought of spending time with momma. and i get it. as far as he can see, i’ve all but abandoned him to his daddy’s care over the last 8.5 months. add to that the fact that dad is the fun one who does nothing but play with him… why would he want to spend time with me? all the time that i spend taking care of the family doesn’t matter to him. all he sees is that i’m not playing with him. the fact that i spend entirely too much time in the kitchen cooking nutritious family meals because i love them and want them to eat well even though i hate cooking… who cares, i’m not playing with him. it’s so hard being the responsible one that keeps everything moving when none of that really matters to the ones you’re working so hard for. and that’s just what being a mom is. you have to do it all and get none of the credit and nobody really even cares but you know that it’s your job even though it means you’ll never get to be the fun one. and it sucks some days and i just want to cry when he looks me in the eye and asks me if he can please go play with daddy instead and i just have to suck it up and take it because he doesn’t mean it to be a personal affront to me and i have no right to let him see my insecurity. i love my two little boys. there’s no way i could possibly handle being mom to three.

2017
29
Apr
21:04

milk, please

   Posted by: arcanai   in the sequel

the sequel signed “milk” for the first time tonight. and then, he turned around and made his first sentence by signing “milk please”. i am so proud of my sweet baby boy. he’s really starting to come out of his shell. he’s “talking” more and he mimics laughter. he’s crawling all over the house, pulling up on everything within reach, and even turning loose to try to stand on his own.

2017
28
Apr
20:52

it’s a start

   Posted by: arcanai   in the turkey

the turkey didn’t want to put a diaper back on when he got up and got dressed this morning so we decided to let him do n3kk!d time. he wound up spending the entire morning diaperless and didn’t have any real accidents. the only issue we ran into was a reluctance to p00p in the potty, which i didn’t fully understand since he’s done that a few times in the past but he just wasn’t having it this morning. this meant that he needed to go but when he realized he had to sit on the potty for it, he’d sit there and read books and hold it. naturally, when he got a diaper on for nap time, he wasn’t laying down 15 minutes before he was calling us to come change him. all in all, though, i felt like it was a wildly successful half day of pre-potty training… especially since we’ve really never tried to push the topic at all.

2017
26
Apr
22:39

the worst part of parenting

   Posted by: arcanai   in prayers needed

…is the lack of sick days. seriously, where’s the union rep when you need them?

hubby and i took turns being sick all night last night. i wasn’t able to keep anything down from 21:00 last night until about 16:30 this afternoon.

and do you know that these kids still expected us to take care of them all day?!

so, yeh, nursing a baby while being unable to hold down water equals complete dehydration. i’ve never in my life been that dehydrated… when i pinched the back of my hand, the skin stood straight up and stayed until i flexed my hand again. i barely had the energy to walk through the house; i definitely couldn’t pick the sequel up and carry him. i ended up nursing him on the floor in front of his crib all day. the turkey did great, all things considered. he was thrilled to be dumped in front of the tv all morning. that’s a huge treat for him and it bought us a couple of hours of quiet. tomorrow has to be a better day. now i’m just praying that the boys are able to miraculously avoid catching this horribly, nasty little bug.

2017
5
Apr
20:18

Praying

   Posted by: arcanai   in the turkey

Our nightly routine is to pray together as a family and then we split the boys to their respective rooms for bedtime stories and songs. Sometimes I say the prayer but usually it’s hubby. Tonight, as we gathered together, the turkey started in on a prayer of his own for the first time. “Jesus, please watch over the sequel, the turkey, mommy, and daddy. I love you Jesus. Amen.” And just like that, an exhausting and stressful day turned into a beautiful and uplifting evening.

2017
4
Apr
10:57

The other mommy

   Posted by: arcanai   in the turkey

We finally found someone to come in and help out with the kids a few hours a day while we’re working. It’s been about a month and she’s been wonderful. This morning, however, the turkey ripped my heart out with a wooden spoon when he said “my other mommy is miss nanny.” I nearly cried. Maybe I need to quit my job after all :-(

2017
2
Apr
23:17

Sitter and baby’s breath

   Posted by: arcanai   in the sequel

The sequel sat up by himself today. I missed it in the 30 seconds I had walked out of the room but he was quick to oblige with an immediate encore for the camera. I am constantly amazed and saddened by just how fast he’s growing. I guess it’s a second child thing where he’s just in a huge rush to catch up with his brother. 

Tonight, he woke up after his dream feed which is pretty rare. I kept trying to lay his head back down on my shoulder but he kept getting right in my face. It took me a couple minutes to realize he was trying to line himself up to breathe in my breath. I know the turkey used to relax when something smelled like me but I don’t remember him doing that. It was incredibly sweet and I had a tough time putting him back down and leaving his room.

Every time i realize i won’t ever have these “baby” moments again, my heart hurts.

2017
21
Mar
21:05

sickness aversion

   Posted by: arcanai   in the sequel

i thought it only happened with tequila but, apparently, it starts much earlier. the sequel was finally getting the whole eating and swallowing thing down but i must have let him overeat. a few hours later, he was projectile vomiting all over the place. yesterday, he refused to eat any more avocado. today, i tried peas out on him to see if he could deal with that any better. he made it very clear that he no longer has any interest in eating food. poor little guy. i ruined his budding appetite by indulging gluttony.

2017
19
Mar
11:45

Starting the day right

   Posted by: arcanai   in the turkey

Because we didn’t know when we would be coming home from AL, we asked to be left off the schedule for church this week (good thing since our “We should be able to easily make it home by 19:30″ became rolling in at 22:00). Normally, we serve every week and wear a church shirt. It’s rare that we wear “real clothes” to church. Add to that the fact that I’m nursing so my wardrobe consists of nothing but easy access tops, and it’s a true treat indeed when I get to dress nice and feel good about my appearance. This morning, I wore my beautiful “new” dress that i only ever wore for my maternity photos. I felt good. But when the turkey came out of his room and saw me, he came running up to me shouting “mommy, you look so pretty!” My heart stopped, my eyes welled up, and I felt truly gorgeous! What a great start to the day. I love that boy like mad.

2017
17
Mar
20:37

“please” please

   Posted by: arcanai   in the sequel

the sequel is such a little smarty. i’ve been meaning to start making him sign “please” before meals for the last month or so and i just kept forgetting every meal. last week, i finally worked it into my routine. after a little over a week, he’s already starting to try to do it on his own. i say “let’s do please” and he starts swirling his right arm around. sure, it’s not technically correct yet but i think that’s a fantastic start for such a short time. i want to say it was a month and a half or two months of doing it with the turkey before he started doing it on his own.

in other news, he’s crawling all over the living room and trying his best to pull up on stuff. this one is just in way too big a rush to be a big boy. :-(

2017
13
Mar
21:20

premature palm sunday

   Posted by: arcanai   in the turkey

this weekend, i noticed that the turkey had pulled the edge pieces off all the mats in his room. i walked in and found him waving them around in both hands. “what are you doing, lovebug?” said i. “i’m waving palm branches for Jesus!”

i seriously love that boy.

2017
25
Feb
13:01

Growing growing growing

   Posted by: arcanai   in the sequel, the turkey

The turkey is learning to sound out words. Today, he read “cat” and”bat” by sounding them out. 

The sequel is getting ready to crawl. He gets his butt up in the air and pushes up on his knees and elbows. Today, he scooted about six inches like that.

Too fast. It’s all just going too fast.

Updated: and then the sequel rolled onto his belly for the first time and slept on his tummy. How can my little itty bitty baby be doing such big things already?

2017
25
Jan
23:14

cluster-f***

   Posted by: arcanai   in the sequel

even though the sequel has grown steadily, he’s never actually had what i consider to be a true growth spurt. the turkey went through several periods where he would cluster-feed for a day or two and then his clothes didn’t fit anymore. the sequel has just had slow, steady, quiet growth. last night, he started his first cluster-feeding frenzy with two middle of the night feedings and he’s been starving to death every three hours all day today. i expect him to be two inches taller tomorrow!

2017
15
Jan
21:13

God loves everyone

   Posted by: arcanai   in the turkey

When I get the turkey out of his Sunday school class, the teacher usually tells me what the lesson was this week. This morning, with tears in her eyes, she told me that the lesson was “God loves everyone.”  She said there was one boy who said “God doesn’t love me.” But my boy told him “yes God loves you and he loves me too!” 

Sometimes I think we can’t be messing up too badly.

2016
29
Dec
22:46

Momma for the win!

   Posted by: arcanai   in the turkey

Coming home from dinner tonight, we were talking with the turkey trying to keep him awake until we made it back to grandmother’s house. This conversational snippet nearly made me cry:

He: I’m a happy boy!

Me: yes you are. What makes you so happy?

He: mommy makes me happy!

After a few seconds of thought, he revised that to “mommy and daddy” but the point is, I was the first and immediate response! Maybe he’s not a total daddy’s boy after all.