27 weeks

   Posted by: arcanai   in da belly, feelin bad, pix, the turkey

23 May 2014

I’ve been feeling all kinds of great about this pregnancy until I got a phone call yesterday from the dr office saying that I failed the glucose screening and have to go back for the 3 hour test.  anything over 126 requires advanced testing; mine was 148.  looking back over labs from the last few years, it looks like my pre-pregnancy glucose level stays right around 90.  insert major funk of depression here.  I know that this doesn’t necessarily mean that I have gestational diabetes and I know that, even if I do, it’s fairly common and easy to control and blah blah blah… but I just can’t shake this disappointment and melancholy.  I’ve been trying so hard to keep us healthy – I’ve been eating nutritionally, I’ve largely avoided junk food and fried food, I’ve been exercising – and all for what?  just a big smack-in-the-head reminder of how much my body hates me.  just like when I lost forty pounds and my cholesterol shot up instead of getting better.  it feels like I’m already failing my kid as a mother and that’s a lousy feeling.  so it’s going to be 2.5 weeks before I can get in to do the long glucose test.  here’s hoping that I can pull myself out of this funk and learn to deal with whatever comes because there doesn’t seem to be anything I can do about it.

This entry was posted on Friday, May 23rd, 2014 at 11:23 and is filed under da belly, feelin bad, pix, the turkey. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

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