The sequel sat up by himself today. I missed it in the 30 seconds I had walked out of the room but he was quick to oblige with an immediate encore for the camera. I am constantly amazed and saddened by just how fast he’s growing. I guess it’s a second child thing where he’s just in a huge rush to catch up with his brother. 

Tonight, he woke up after his dream feed which is pretty rare. I kept trying to lay his head back down on my shoulder but he kept getting right in my face. It took me a couple minutes to realize he was trying to line himself up to breathe in my breath. I know the turkey used to relax when something smelled like me but I don’t remember him doing that. It was incredibly sweet and I had a tough time putting him back down and leaving his room.

Every time i realize i won’t ever have these “baby” moments again, my heart hurts.

i thought it only happened with tequila but, apparently, it starts much earlier. the sequel was finally getting the whole eating and swallowing thing down but i must have let him overeat. a few hours later, he was projectile vomiting all over the place. yesterday, he refused to eat any more avocado. today, i tried peas out on him to see if he could deal with that any better. he made it very clear that he no longer has any interest in eating food. poor little guy. i ruined his budding appetite by indulging gluttony.

the sequel is such a little smarty. i’ve been meaning to start making him sign “please” before meals for the last month or so and i just kept forgetting every meal. last week, i finally worked it into my routine. after a little over a week, he’s already starting to try to do it on his own. i say “let’s do please” and he starts swirling his right arm around. sure, it’s not technically correct yet but i think that’s a fantastic start for such a short time. i want to say it was a month and a half or two months of doing it with the turkey before he started doing it on his own.

in other news, he’s crawling all over the living room and trying his best to pull up on stuff. this one is just in way too big a rush to be a big boy. 🙁

The turkey is learning to sound out words. Today, he read “cat” and”bat” by sounding them out. 

The sequel is getting ready to crawl. He gets his butt up in the air and pushes up on his knees and elbows. Today, he scooted about six inches like that.

Too fast. It’s all just going too fast.

Updated: and then the sequel rolled onto his belly for the first time and slept on his tummy. How can my little itty bitty baby be doing such big things already?

even though the sequel has grown steadily, he’s never actually had what i consider to be a true growth spurt. the turkey went through several periods where he would cluster-feed for a day or two and then his clothes didn’t fit anymore. the sequel has just had slow, steady, quiet growth. last night, he started his first cluster-feeding frenzy with two middle of the night feedings and he’s been starving to death every three hours all day today. i expect him to be two inches taller tomorrow!

i’ve been a bit concerned about how fast the sequel is gaining weight.  granted, we had a weight stall-out with the turkey around two months because of his severe gerd but it still seems like this boy is gaining too fast.  just in the last couple of weeks he’s gone from the 55th percentile to the 75th.  at seven weeks old yesterday, he weighed 12 lbs 7.5 oz. that’s over five pounds since birth.  i think i remember the turkey’s dr saying that they look for babies to double birth weight by four months (the turkey was closer to six).  this little guy is on track to double in just over two months.  anyhow, between that and the tummy troubles, i’ve decided to try stretching is schedule a little.  instead of a three hour schedule, i’m going to start him on a 3.5 hour schedule and see how he does.  we had the turkey on a four hour schedule at sixish weeks because of the reflux so i don’t anticipate any problems with milk supply or anything.  i can always change it back if there are any problems but i think he’ll do fine with it.

hard to believe that it’s been two years since i last heard your voice and your laughter.  it’s unreal that life has just gone on without you.  your grandson, who you were so excited to meet, is a toddler now. complete with sleeping fits and tantrums and singing songs and real conversations and just all kinds of amazing. he is ridiculously smart.  you would be so proud and you would have a ton of fun with him. he’s a big brother now. truly, he’s the best big brother on earth. he has a little brother who we named in your honor. the sequel has your hairline, dark hair, and blue eyes.  you would dote on these boys and spoil them rotten; i just know it. the turkey asks to look at pictures and videos of grampy all the time.  it makes my heart smile and ache all at the same time.  i still give him a kiss on the forehead from grampy every night before bed.  i do the same for the sequel because i know you would tell me to and i want him to grow up knowing just how much you would have adored him.

i love you, daddy.  i love you and i miss you every day.

i love how your pride and joy shines through in this photo

the turkey looks just as proud holding his brother as you looked holding him

it’s been a rough three weeks for sure.  i have the nasty habit of comparing the sequel to the turkey, who was pulling nice five hour stretches from the sixth day on.  the sequel can’t seem to get past three hours – three and a half if i’m super lucky.  i do remember some exhausting nights with the turkey too but i was always able to nap during the day with him to make up for it.  now that i’ve got a toddler to look after, that’s not so much an option.  hubby has been doing a great job of keeping the turkey occupied but his schedule doesn’t really overlap with the sequel’s so i’ve only got thirty minutes or so here and there to try to rest my eyes.  all day yesterday, i felt like i was about at my wit’s end.  thankfully, the sequel decided to take mercy on his momma last night by pulling a heavenly 4.5 hour stretch followed by a 3.5 hour one.  i feel considerably less zombie-like today after getting almost five hours of sleep throughout the night!

The sequel had his two week checkup today and everything was great. He’s up to 8lbs 13oz and 20.5″.  I had forgotten just how amazingly fast they grow this early. He’s already trying to crawl and holding his neck up and moving it around. He’s such a strong, healthy boy!

so he was born at 01:20 and i started nursing him at 01:47.  he did pretty good on the first side but his nose seemed a little stuffy so it made for slow going.  when we switched to the other side, it seemed like he was having a very difficult time getting air through his nose.  he was basically having to break his latch to gulp air between swallows.  we attempted to suction his nose a couple times and then had a nurse come in to try as well.  at 02:48, he christened me with his first meconium so the nurse took him from me to give him a quick cleanup and get a diaper on him.  during this time, his breathing became more labored so around 03:15 they took him to the nursery for a checkup.  the turkey never left our room so it made me very anxious that they were taking him away from us.  about 03:45, a dr came in without my son and introduced herself as a nicu dr. at this point, i immediately burst into tears and could barely focus enough on her words to understand that my son had been admitted to the nicu for breathing complications due to nasal inflammation and would not be coming back to me.  when she left, i had to ask my husband to explain to me what had happened and when we were going to get our son back.   Read the rest of this entry »

it turns out that the sequel decided to begin his arrival on his due date after all.  the contractions i was having all afternoon were, indeed, early labor. it was hard to tell whether it was just soreness and reaction to the exam at the dr appt that morning or if it was more meaningful progress. after work, we took the turkey for a walk and i was having some pretty intense contractions but they were so irregular. they would come close together with high intensity and then they would either space out at the same intensity or mellow out at the same frequency. they didn’t affect my walking, never got to the point where i had to slow down or really pay them any real attention. at one point during that walk, i even layed down on a bench to see if they would change. i pretty much decided it was all much ado about nothing. at 23:30 that night, i was still trying to determine whether it was labor.  my contractions were still in the 7-8 minute range at that point but i was having an increasing amount of discharge with them.  since my water just spontaneously broke with my first one and i never really started having contractions until a few hours after that, i really felt clueless about what i should be expecting from a “normal” labor.  and so, at 23:33, i was googling my situation because i am that stupid girl.  by 23:40, my contractions spontaneously dropped from 7 minutes to 2 minutes and kept getting stronger.  i got up and walked around and when several more 2-3 minute contractions went by with no change, i decided it was time to have a baby.  around midnight, we called sunny to come stay with the turkey.  while giving her last minute instructions and transferring the car seat, contractions were strong enough that i had to stop walking to get through them.

while they were transferring the car seat, i managed to grin and bear my way through a selfie in the sequel's room

by the time we got down to the car to leave, i was having to fight the urge to push.  we were on the road at 00:34 with hubby driving like a maniac.  i had to warn him to slow down on the speed bump road or else he’d be delivering his son.  after running all the red lights and running into the er to get someone to bring a wheelchair, we made it to the labor/delivery ward by 00:47. they asked me a few questions and had hubby fill out some paperwork but after witnessing my 60-90 second contractions, they quickly decided to skip all the rest of the formalities and get me into a room.

away she goes

i was wheeled into l/d3… the same room that the turkey was born into.  i felt a huge calm over that coincidence.  when we got into the room, they made me take off my wonder woman gown and change into the good ol’ hospital duds before getting me into the bed and hooking me up to the monitors at 01:01.  they tried to get an iv in my arm but the contractions were about a minute and i was rolled over holding the right side rail in a death grip chanting “don’t push, can’t push, too soon to push”.  the on-call midwife came in and informed me that i was fully dilated but he was still at 0 station so i did, indeed, need to hold off on pushing.

yes, the nurses were laughing at me for smiling for the pictures between contractions

just a few contractions later, i told them there was no way for me to fight it any longer; i had to push.  they rushed the midwife back in and she seemed a little shocked to find him crowning.  finally, i was able to push and, oh my goodness, that was so hard.  the contractions hurt.  but i can’t really call what i felt during that pushing pain.  it was burning.  the most intense burning ever.  like the world’s worst uti to the millionth power.  but more than that, it was exhausting.  i pushed with everything i had, my left leg shaking uncontrollably in the nurse’s arm, and they asked for more.  i pushed again, finding a new reserve of power when i looked down and noticed that i could see the top of my son’s head.

"i can see him!!!"

when i took a breather that time, i didn’t think i could possibly go anymore.  i felt completely drained.  but as the next contraction started, i focused on wanting to see the rest of that head and i pushed until i did.  and on the verge of tears because i just didn’t see how i could possibly muster up anymore energy to finish freeing him, i pushed one last time and watched his shoulders break free and then he just slipped out while the midwife turned him.  it was the most amazing thing i’ve ever seen.  i watched with perfect clarity as my son entered this world and they immediately handed him straight to me.  at 01:20, nineteen minutes after getting in the bed, he was in my arms.

instantly in love

perfection

beaming with pride

this whole thing was such a different experience from the turkey’s birth that there really just is no comparison.  i really can’t complain about the turkey’s birth but there were things that i would go back and change (mainly getting the stupid phenergan that made me miss whole chunks of the experience).  this time, there isn’t a single thing i would have changed.  it was completely the ideal.  i was able to be 100% present for the entire duration.  i felt every single contraction and every single push and i was able to witness the delivery from start to finish.  my birth plan (what a joke those are) was going to be to ask for a mirror this time because i didn’t even know that was an option last time and i really wanted to be able to see everything.  what a blessing that i didn’t even need that.

even the hospital’s philosophy was completely different this time.  two years ago, they did all kinds of things like suctioning and roughing up before handing him to me.  i got to hold him for just a few minutes before they took him away to bathe, weigh, measure, and print him.  i didn’t get to nurse him until they were done with all of that.  this time, they handed him straight to me.  they roughed him up while he was in my arms but didn’t do anything else to him.  he actually didn’t even get his first bath until he was two days old.  i was able to hold him and nurse him at my own leisure.  unfortunately, it was during the nursing that we discovered a problem…

Ten days old and the sequel is already rolling from his belly to his back. 

The sequel had his first checkup with the pediatrician today because they have to be seen within the first 48 hours after leaving the nicu. It was nice to learn that our Dr was actually trained by the dr who had taken such great care of our sequel in the nicu. He was very pleased with the sequel’s health and development already. At four days old, he is already up half an ounce and a quarter inch from birth. Thanks to the two days of iv fluids, he never had that dramatic weight loss that most newborns have (he was only down 2.5 ounces from birth when we left the hospital, compared to his brother who had lost nine ounces before coming home). His breathing was good with no signs of labor or blockage. It was great to get a good report after such a stressful weekend.

happy due day to me, happy due day to me, happy due date dear me, happy due day to me!

the sequel is very comfortable and is in no rush to meet us.  the dr was laughing about how wrong he’s been when he came into the office this morning.  the sequel is measuring 7lbs 8oz, which puts him right there with his brother’s size.  growth restricted my pinky toe! i’m 4cm, 90%, 0 station.  the dr was very confident that he’s coming this weekend.  “i know the feel of ripe for birth and you’re there.”  um, no offence doc, but i’ve been listening to that for the last four weeks!  the practice has a policy of not allowing patients to go past 41 weeks for the safety of the baby.  if i’m still pregnant next week, they’ll break my water.  i’m really hoping he decides to join us naturally before then.  in the meantime, i’ve had some wicked contractions all afternoon but they’re not staying regular.  between the soreness from the exam and the contractions, it’s been a fun afternoon.

8 Sep 2016