i have very mixed feelings about the matter.  i thought i would cross the finish line with a sense of accomplishment.  i felt… nothing of the sort.  i felt relief at being done.  i felt pride in having such a truly awesome group of friends hanging around just to cheer me on.  but i did not feel like i had really DONE anything; it just didn’t feel like a big deal.  which made me just a little sad because, for me, this should have been a big deal.  it’s so much more than i ever could have seen myself doing.  not because i didn’t think i could but because i never had the desire.  about the only thing that i really felt good about was my time.  after all of my training, i was certain that it was going to take me three hours and fifteen minutes to run a half marathon.  i didn’t see any way around that.  my official chip time was 3:03:54.  i ran it more than eleven minutes faster than i realistically thought i could.  granted, i would have loved to have gotten down to under three hours but i finished knowing that there was absolutely no way that i could have done that today.  i left nothing on the course.  i also felt good about having a negative split.  the second half of my race was nearly two minutes faster than the first half.

hanging toward the back of the crowd to start - the blue shirt just right of my head is cargo starting his 2nd half mary

honestly, i had fun.  i really did.  the first nine miles, i was having just a great time.  after nine miles, i became aware of my legs.  they weren’t hurting or over-tired but i just suddenly felt them.  of course, that’s about the time that the course got a little lonely too.  it was an out-and-back course so the first half, i was able to cheer on all of the fast folks who were already heading back toward me.  when i finally reached the turn-around and started back myself, i had the slower folks still heading out to cheer on.  it made me feel good to cheer others on, whether they really needed it or not.  and it was a thrill every time we passed one of our friends; totally recharged me.  somewhere around the nine mile mark, we had already gone by all of the slower people so it was pretty much just me and my husband. 

at least there were some scenic stretches

look, i'm a runner

and, while i’m on that subject – my husband rocks!  i could not have done that race without him.  he bandited so that he could trot along with me.  he talked with me and kept me company.  he carried the camera to take pix of me and all of our friends.  most importantly, he did all of my aid station stops for me.  when we approached a table, he would grab the bottles out of my fuel belt and go fill them – one with water and one with gatorade.  i never had to stop at a table so i was able to do my walk/fuel breaks when i wanted or needed to rather than when the course dictated them.

my favorite pic of the day; i made hubby stop to take it. if you know him, you know why.

anyhow, i still felt pretty good going past the twelve mile mark.  i was a little surprised because i was sure i should have hit my “wall”.  i became confident that if i hadn’t hit it yet, i wouldn’t.  i looked at my watch and thought i’d be able to finish strong and beat three hours.  and then, the last half mile, there it was.  WHAM!  having never hit a wall before, i could not believe just how debilitating it was.  within mere seconds i went from feeling like i had it in the bag to feeling like i couldn’t possibly pick up my legs anymore.  i have no idea how i managed to keep them moving that last .5 mile.  by the time i finally turned a corner and saw the finish line in the distance, i was chanting to myself that i could do it.  luckily, that was the same time i started to hear my friends screaming my name and the very same sentiments.  that was what i needed to push me.  i found just enough energy to carry myself across the line and i was so glad to be done.  i had intended to pay attention to my finish line photo but i was just too daggum tired to lift my arms in victory.  my friend tat greeted me with a big hug and praise when i crossed and i couldn’t even lift my arms to hug her back.  i was done. 

DONE. in every sense of the word.

i walked around a while, choked down a banana, picked up my medal and my ugly purse, and went back to the line to wait for another friend who had not yet finished.  i walked up the course a bit so that i could meet her and cheer her to the end.  i am so glad that i did not finish with her.  the finish line had been taken down by the time she finished and the crowds were all gone.  i would have been so demoralized.  i’m not sure how she felt about it all but i’m glad that i was there for her.  she was crying by the time she finally crossed where the line had been. 

showing off my well-earned blingage and ugy purse

all in all, it was a positive experience and i’m glad i did it.  it was just a disappointment that it didn’t make me feel better about myself.  and, though the race was quite a bit of fun, the weeks of training were horrible torture that i don’t think i would readily endure again.  we’ll see though.  with this group of nutty friends, anything is possible.

it's official. i'm a half-marathoner

hubby completed his second half-iron distance triathlon today. his first one was two years ago and he did a great job and had fun. today, he managed to take 34 minutes off his time!!! I couldn’t be more proud of him. and now we’re halfway through the year of ironman training!

demonstrating his swim technique	for a short while, we had matching purple heads
1.2 mile swim... check!	56 mile bike... check!
a little wet but at least that kept the run cooler	13.1 mile run and completion of another half-iron... check!
so proud of my hubby after 5 hours and 56 minutes of giving his all!

and then this was him upside down in the passenger seat trying to get his legs to stop aching while I drove us to his parents’ for mother’s day 🙂

hubby is now half of an iron man!  he completed his first 70.3 event this past weekend and i couldn’t be more proud of him.  for those not in the know, a half iron distance triathlon consists of a 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, and 13.1 mile (half marathon) run.  below is a short storyboard of his journey but the rest of the photos can be found here.

diving in (red wetsuit)

smiling after 1.2 miles in the gulf

a nice wave to the wife on his way out to the bike course

back after 56 miles of pedalling

looking good at the start of the run

that is 100% awesomeness crossing the finish line after a 13.1 mile run!

"1.2 swim, 56 bike, 13.1 run... and your hair still looks great!!!"

my prayers for a tapeworm have finally been answered!  that’s the only explanation i can come up with for why i’m suddenly seeing weight loss after all of these years of increasing activity and decreasing junk food and just getting fatter and fatter.  truly, it makes no sense.  last year, i trained for and ran my first half marathon and then hiked the grand canyon (which burned way more calories).  you would think that huge spike in activity, paired with better eating habits would have made me all kinds of svelte.  after four months of expending large quantities of energy… i hadn’t lost a single ounce.  and since weight can be deceptive, i’ll also note that none of my clothes were any less snug.  on the contrary, i went up a size 🙁  very frustrating and demoralizing, that was.  this year, i’m down 8+ pounds since jan 1.  i’m getting very close to seeing the next lower tens digit on the scale.  and i just don’t understand it.  nothing has changed.  my eating habits are the same as they’ve been for the last few years… overall, i eat fairly healthy but i’m more a believer in “everything in moderation” so i don’t deny myself less healthy foods.  my training for this year’s half was similar to last year’s except i did try to keep up better with cross-training.  my overall activity has greatly diminished since about two weeks prior to the 13.1 because of injuries that don’t seem to want to go away and yet the pounds keep going down.  my mind is officially boggled.  not to look a gift-horse in the mouth… seeing encouragement on the scale is nice but i’d rather have baggy clothes.

i’m feeling so despondent about my half marathon coming up in six days.  for six+ weeks, my training was going awesome and i was truly feeling GREAT about my running.  i just KNEW that i was going to kick that ½’s butt!  after two weeks of knee and hip pain, and only managing to put in a whopping four miles total last week, and another not good feeling three miles today… i think all of my hopes for this 13.1 are gone.  in fact, i have grave concerns about even being able to match last year’s time.  i’m trying to look at the silver lining and resign myself to the fact that i can still go out there and have fun with all our peeps and cross the finish line when i can but i can’t get over the disappointment in my heart after all of the hard work i’ve put in and how fabulous i was feeling about it just a short time ago.

that was me today.  i lost it.  totally lost the mental game.  i was running along, looked down and saw that i was only at mile three of a four mile run and i just lost it.  i started crying… crying?… there’s no crying in running!… which really threw my hubby.  he didn’t know what to say or do to make it better for me.  and it’s stupid because i wasn’t hurting and i wasn’t even that drained.  i just lost it.  i managed to push through and finish my run but it was highly unsatisfying.  i felt like i had failed and am highly discouraged becuase it was only four miles.  i have to do 13.1.  before the week is out, i have to do six.  i need to find a way to gain better control over my mental game.  i’ve never lost it that badly.  *sigh*  so, today was 4.16 mi in 51:27 for an average pace of 12:23. 

and so today officially begins my half marathon training yet again.  clearly i did not learn my lesson last time or i am just a glutton for punishment.  maybe if i meet my goal this time, i’ll be able to hang it up for good.  for those wanting to play along at home, below is the training plan i’ve come up with.  pretty, eh? 

so today was a blue, 3 mile day.  i went on my lunch break to the park by the mall and ran three loops.  i adjusted my route slightly on each lap trying to find a true mile.  i think i’ve almost got it figured out.  today ended up at 3.23 miles with an average pace of 11:39, which is better than i expected since it felt like a very poor effort with copious amounts of walking.  i was all alone, the sun was very bright, and the book that i’ve just started is not doing a good job of holding my attention yet – i sure hope that changes in the next run or two.  more details on the run below:

apparently, now that i’m just over a week from race day, i’ve given up on training.  i did do my eleven miler for last weekend’s long run and every second of it was torture.  my legs were just dead from the 24+ miles that i put on them last week.  the first lap of it, my legs were seriously tight.  the second lap, they had loosened up and i was feeling pretty good.  the third lap, i had absolutely nothing left.  it was seriously all i could do to pick my legs up each step.  i was so happy to finish that one.  there were other factors too:  it was hot, my audiobook had reset itself so that i had to listen to four chapters over again, not a single dolphin in sight, and we got a later start so i was famished half way through (though i did eat two strawberry newtons every 45 minutes). 

the rest of my week got off to a good start.  i surprised myself by getting my three miler over with the day after the eleven.  vast improvement from my first niner when i couldn’t walk for several days.  but then i was supposed to run four on wednesday.  and i just didn’t want to.  so i ran my five on thursday at the bridge and figured i’d go back and do four friday.  but hubby wasn’t feeling it either.  and i was supposed to do seven over the weekend but after staying up until the wee hours two nights in a row, i just don’t see it happening.  and i just don’t care anymore.  i know i can do 13.1.  and i know it’s going to be slow no matter how well trained i am.  judging by that eleven, i’m probably better off going on cold legs anyhow because it was so hard dragging my dead-tired legs eleven miles. 

thankfully, this has been a slightly better week for running.  it still sucks and is hard but my attitude isn’t quite as negative as last week, when i was totally ready to give up on this 13.1.  the bridge run was actually a great run for me.  i ran 6ish miles in 1:18:30 which is really a great pace for me, especially all things considered.  i tried to force myself to stay semi-positive by smiling (or at least contorting my face into a smile-like-mask while bracing against the cold wind).  hubby stayed with me for most of it and, on the way back, scooter and train slowed down to trot with me too… it was the first time i’ve ever run in a pack on the bridge!!!  let me tell you, it so helps to have people around you and talking with you.  i even managed to finish the last .01 mile with a nice little sprint. 

thanks to my recurring leg injury, i feel very behind on my 13.1 training after a highly slothful week.  a few days, i could really barely walk.  oh well, it’ll all work out somehow.

my first week of 13.1 training went very well, imo.  the second week, however, was nonexistent.  epic fail.  in all fairness, hubby’s marathon and a very agrivating illness derailed me.  which really stinks because i needed to do an 8 mile run last week but it had to be postponed until this week which made me feel like i had to up it.  jumping from six to nine… oy!  i did remind myself this week that walking in the sand is really, really good for my running legs.  i need to make a bigger effort to incorporate that into my training.  if i can walk at all tomorrow, i should take it to the sand.

I have not had much luck with Internet this morning but it has been an exciting time. I’m exhausted from watching all of these runners! We arriveded in time to see my cousin enter the magic kingdom at mile 10.

first sighting - unloading on sherlock

She looked great and was at a 14:52 pace.

my cousin approacheth

happy to finally see us

obligatory castle pic

running in honor of bobbert and jackie - both battling lymphoma

We then met up with Sherlock and made it back to catch her coming out of of the castle.

out of the castle and doing the YMCA???

off she goes!

Us three then caught a seat on a nice, air conditioned bus over to animal kingdom.  While we were on the bus, she called Sherlock to let us all know that she had passed the halfway point and was feeling great!  When we arrived at Animal Kingdom, we knew that it would be a little while before she ran through so hubby and I bought some overpriced Disney muffins (we hadn’t yet had breakfast) and found an empty spot along the runners’ path to eat and cheer. I felt hateful glares from the hot, tired, and starving runners while I consumed my pastry.

waiting for our marathoner

We cheered my cousin through the animal kingdom parking lot, which was just short of the 18 mile mark for her.

continuing with the YMCA in animal kingdom

"am i done yet?!"

She quickly took a gulp of Sherlock’s coke and continued on her way at a roughly 16 minute pace. She’s doing great but is ready for a pizza! We then got on another air conditioned bus to come back to epcot. We are sitting in the shade next to the finish line awaiting her arrival. We expect to see her in less than an hour. Unfortunately, we are unable to keep up with where she is at since her phone seems to have died or been turned off since her 13.1 mile call.